my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
