She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
