Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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