where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
