I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
don't judge my taste in strippers
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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