Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
