I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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