Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
