I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
