Pants 0. Shit 1.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
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