I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
