can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
