sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
This baby is an asshole
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
