i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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