I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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