took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Come see our sink grown plant.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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