Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
