Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
