so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
