STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Randomize
