Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
