I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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