I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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