Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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