Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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