I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
it's like iHOP with fire
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
