I heard we made out
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
