They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
