drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
