I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize
