its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
