this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm experimenting with sincerity
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
