apparently the secret to your success is patron
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
