i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
