I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
