I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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