3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
