I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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