Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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