WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
