the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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