i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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