i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
