you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
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