So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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