i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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