He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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