I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
