Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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