Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I can't put those talents on a resume
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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