Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
