I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just high enough for therapy.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
